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I would’ve paid good money to be in the brainstorming session that resulted in the idea of make Vampire Therapist. I mean, how high or insane (or both) do you have to be to even think of vampires and therapy, much less a game about vampires in therapy!
Saying the game’s premise is unique barely covers it!
That’s also the exact reason I got so interested in reviewing it after I saw it being advertised on Steam a few months back!
Now that I’ve been in multiple vampire therapy sessions, is Vampire Therapist a bloody good time?
What is Vampire Therapist?
Vampire Therapist is a visual novel with simple puzzle elements. Developed and published by Little Bat Games, Vampire Therapist is out now on the PC.
Our copy was kindly provided by the awesome folks over at Little Bat Games! Thanks so much!
In Vampire Therapist, you’re in the spurred boots of one Sam Wells, a reformed bad hombre from America’s Wild West. Sam’s seen the light, and has decided to dedicate his unlife to helping other vampires, instead of just mindless killing and feeding on hapless humans.
So what does Sam aim to do to help other vampires?
Take them to therapy to hash out their issues of course!
It’s not what Alucard or Kain would’ve done that’s for sure. Hell, I don’t know of any vampire who’d even conceive of such a thing! Sam’s certainly unique in that regards.
Of course, since he doesn’t really know anything about therapy, Sam seeks the help of an Elder vampire named Andy.
Andy, who is also a vampire therapist, agrees to take Sam under his wing and teach him the ways of vampire psychology (which turns out is similar to human psychology). Sam’s also given the task of taking over Andy’s clients as part of his training.
Personally, I just think Andy’s looking for an excuse to slack off though.
As a vampire therapist in training, Sam is taught by Andy about the numerous distortions that vampires (and humans) suffer from. These distortions aren’t fictional, they’re really terms used in real psychology. Playing the game is unlike taking a crash course in amateur psychology, as you’re soon putting the theories you learn to practice as you identify the issues that plague your patients.
It’s a really interesting premise to base a game upon. Basically, to progress, all you need to do is pick out which of the distortions fits the patient’s statement the best.
There’s no penalty (that I’ve found) for misidentifying a distortion though, so there’s really no harm in getting things wrong. In that sense, Vampire Therapist is more of a learning aid than a game. You can’t really fail by picking the wrong response.
If you do pick a wrong response, Andy will chide you (via telepathy) and then give you another chance to try again until you get it ride.
That’s it. No other downside.
If you’re looking for a thrilling, high stakes tete-a-tete between Sam and his patients (with disastrous results for failure), look elsewhere. Perhaps the Ace Attorney (Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Trilogy or Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney Trilogy games?
It’s a bit of a shock to me too, as I’d gone into the game expecting it to be…well, more of a game.
It’s not a bad thing though. I honestly enjoyed learning about distortions and then trying to suss out which are the ones being talked about at any given time. I’m also hankering to try to spot them being used in real life by the people I talk to!
Who would’ve thought a game about a vampire therapist would teach me useful things about psychology?
As a visual novel, Vampire Therapist is a bit of a mixed bag. Sam’s patients are all very interesting and well fleshed out, but apart from the titular therapy sessions, there’s really not much to it. Sam does hang around the club (which also doubles as his therapy clinic) and talks to the secondary characters after each session, but those parts are woefully short.
Vampire Therapist can also serve as a good indicator of a person’s mental health. I mean if you know somebody (or are yourself) experiencing similar issues, then why get them (or yourself) to a therapist and see if it helps?
At the very least, you’d now know that’s an option you can take.
Sometimes, you get mini-games in which Sam drinks the blood of humans. Don’t worry, it’s all consensual. After all, Sam’s a reformed vampire now.
All you do in the mini-game is hit A when the fang icon is above a blood vein. That’s it.
I don’t even get why these are in the game because they don’t really serve any noticeable purpose. You don’t get special powers or abilities for biting well nor you penalized for screwing up.
The other mini-game is meditation.
It’s even worse than the biting one.
In this one, you need to move a cursor to highlight a thought and then hold a button to breathe in and out.
That’s it.
Again, it’s completely unnecessary. Worse, it’s unnecessarily long. There’s no point to it, there’s nothing to be gained from it. I’m sure there are better ways to show Sam meditating instead of this. At best, just ignoring the need for Sam to meditate might’ve been the best course of action here.
What is weirdly ignored though, is the whole sexualized nature of vampires. You do get some innuendoes here and there (such as with Reinhard and his girlfriend) but by and large, the game largely sidesteps the whole sexual aspect that’s prevalent…well, everywhere.
It’s there in Castlevania. It’s there in Legacy of Kain. It’s there in Hellsing.
It’s not here in Vampire Therapist….for the most part.
It’s honestly disappointing. While it might dilute the message the game is trying to promote here, a little T&A fits the theme. I mean if the game can include humor (which it does) why not other mature content too?
Besides, fanservice isn’t a bad thing, is it?
What’s definitely not bad about the game though, is the voice acting. I personally love Andy’s voice. It’s deep, manly and oh so luxurious…as if the devil himself is speaking to you. When a character in the game calls him Daddy, it somehow fits.
Sam sounds good too, though I can’t help but think they should’ve gotten Red Dead Redemption 2’s Arthur Morgan’s voice actor to do Sam’s voice considering their similar backgrounds.
The art design’s great too. The goth theme fits in real well here, and the character designs are top notch too. Distinctive and definitely nice to look at. I just with they were animated. Perhaps for the sequel?
The Bottom Line.
Vampire Therapists unique premise helps it stand apart from the sea of indie titles that are all vying for your attention. It might not be the best visual novel (or game) out there but if you’re at all interested in psychology or just a fan of unique games, then you definitely need to give the game a shot.
It’s not perfect by any means (useless mini-games, no fanservice) but there’s no game that deftly handles mental issues in such an open and honest way like Vampire Therapist does. It doesn’t only entertain, it also educates.
That’s not something that can be said for most games.
TLDR:
Unique and educational, with a great cast voiced by awesome actors.
The Good:
- Unique premise.
- Great voice acting.
- Educational.
The Bad:
- Not much game to it.
- No fanservice.
- Useless mini-games.
Salehuddin Husin, EIC
Sal's been in the industry since the early 2000s. He's written for a ton of gaming and tech publications including Playworks, Hardwarezone, HWM and GameAxis. Recently, Sal served as a juror for the Indie Game Awards at Taipei Game Show 2020. A geek and hardcore gamer, Sal will play everything, on any platform.
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