Stellar Blade (Playstation 5) Reviewed

Chances are you’ve heard of Stellar Blade whether you’re a gamer or not. For the simple reason of having a voluptuous and sexy female heroine, the game was targeted by the western woke crowd. Why you ask?

It’s because the woke are insecure and can’t understand that a game is fantasy. We had the same issue with Lara Croft back in the day, and with Bayonetta too. It’s a tale that’s as old as time, eternally dredged up every few years by people who have nothing better to do.

Thankfully, the developers stood firm and shot back, proving that EVE wasn’t conceived out of the minds of lusty pervy men (as the woke would like you to believe) who objectified women. Rather, EVE was based off Korean model Shin Jae-eun.

Oops.

I’ve been playing the game for the better part of two weeks now and while EVE is great eye candy, how does the game really fare?

Here’s what I think.

What is Stellar Blade?

Stellar Blade is a single player third person action RPG, developed by Korean studio Shift Up and published by SIE. It is a Playstation 5 exclusive (though it one day release for the PC like most of SIE’s catalogue) and is available April 22 2024.

Our copy was graciously provided to us by the awesome folks at SIE! Thanks soooo much!

As you’ve gathered by now, Stellar Blade stars the shapely (and buxomly) EVE. She’s part of an elite group of assassins sent by the AI Mother Sphere to wipe out the Naytibas, a mysterious race of mutants that have somehow infested Earth.

EVE’s mission goes off the rails early on, as most of her comrades are slaughtered and EVE herself barely surviving. From then on, EVE teams up with a human scavenger named Adam (and later another Airborne Squad member, Lily) to aid humanity while hunting down the Naytiba leaders.

It sounds very exciting and all but…honestly? The overall presentation (apart from the visuals) could use more work.

The story is interesting (though with an easily foreseen twist in the third act) but the way it all unfolds is weak. The cinematics are boring, the lines are stilted (both in delivery and evoking emotion) and fight cutscenes are over too quickly.

I had zero emotional investment, even after completion of the majority of the game.

I get why EVE is doing what she is, but didn’t care one bit. The same goes for the remnants of humanity in Xion. One of the quests (getting Enya fixed up) obviously is meant to tug at your heartstrings, but the writing and voice acting left a lot to be desired.

Part of it is probably due to the voice acting. EVE and Adam don’t really deliver their lines well and that really affects the suspension of disbelief. I honest think some of the lesser voice actors (especially the ones for Orchal and Mann) put in a much more believable performance than the principals.

The dissatisfaction extends to the combat cinematics too.

Those that play at the beginning and ending of boss fights are too short.

Bosses don’t get really introed well and you’re really let down with their anti-climatic ends too. There’s usually ONE Quick Time event that requires a button press to finish off the boss (if you fail, you’ll need to fight the boss again, though this time it has only a sliver of health), a short execution cinematic and it’s over.

I was honestly expecting something akin to God of War’s bombastic multi-tiered boss battles considering how hyped the game has been but am severely let down by how tepid the fights are. Some boss fights (the optional ones especially) don’t even have an ending cinematic. You deal the killing blow, the boss falls and loot pops out.

That’s it.

Can you say buzzkill? There’s no savoring of the moment, no gratuitous and stylishly bloody cutscene of EVE slicing and dicing her adversary for the coup de grace.

Yes, the game looks superb but what good is eye candy without some substance behind it? Disappointing.

Lack of substance notwithstanding, Stellar Blade looks…stellar!

EVE moves like water, with her various attack animations segueing into one another like water. The animators really did their job well blending the various actions she can do.

Oh…EVE’s (and every other female in-game) assets bounce just like those on the ladies from Dead or Alive.

Jigglier, even.

If you’re looking for fanservice, I present to you Stellar Blade.

I rather enjoyed it to be honest.

It’s been a long time since a game is unabashed sexualized as this.

What can I say? I like looking at sexy ladies and EVE is one hot tamale.

The majority of unlockable costumes are pretty lame and tame for the most part though.

I do have a handful of favorites but hands down the best is the Skin Suit.

Unfortunately, using it leaves EVE without shields so it’s really impractical unless you’re a glutton for punishment or super skilled and hardcore.

The game’s not terribly hard (dying has zero consequences other than restarting you back at your last rest stop) but healing management is still important.

I love the mixture of wide open areas and closed dungeons. Each of the areas are distinct enough to feel fun enough to explore without being too linear or boring.

I wish there were more stages though.

Like Souls-likes, EVE only has a limited number of refillable healing potions. She can refill them at rest stops. There you can also buy consumable healing items to supplement those potions, so you’re not really that restricted on healing.

Bosses and enemies do hit hard though, but the game has methods to lower that damage, in the form EVE’s shields and gear.

EVE has other tricks to stop damage too; Perfect Dodge and Parry. Like their names suggests, these are executed right before you’re hit with an attack. Do it right and a Perfect Parry repels also any attack, giving EVE a chance to counterattack. A Perfect Dodge gets even out of the danger zone and slows time down a bit.

EVE also has various specialized Gear you can equip to complement your playstyle. You eventually can unlock four to use at once and each Gear has their own beneficial effects that range from healing you for every enemy you defeat (I use these) to giving you extra EXP or gold drops.

You can also customize EVE with different Exospines. These are like the Gear you can equip, except they can be upgraded, which unlocks even more benefits. I personally used the Chain-Type and Reflex-Type Exospines. The Chain-Type increases the attack power of combos and critical hits while the Reflex-Type makes Perfect Parry and Dodge easier to pull off.

I prefer to Perfect Parry over Dodge, because executing it leaves EVE in the perfect position to deal damage with any combo I want and each Perfect Parry unbalances an enemy one point. Eliminate all of an enemy’s balance points and they’re vulnerable to an ultra powerful critical hit.

This isn’t Dark Souls or any Souls-like though, so the Parry timing is rather forgiving.

…or it would be without the input lag.

Sadly, there’s a ton of that.

There’s a noticeable gap between when you push the block button and the game getting the parry animation to trigger. It makes Perfect Parries much harder to pull off. It takes most of the skill out of the equation and leaves it up to luck.

The good thing is you can learn to offset this after awhile. I was able to compensate and got good enough to Perfect Parry reliably after the first area (Eidos 7) was done. That doesn’t excuse the lag though, so hopefully it gets patched sooner or later.

Weirdly, regular strikes don’t seem to be hampered by any input lag. I had zero issues with the dodging and regular attacks. EVE does get animation locked for certain combos (meaning you can’t block or move until the combo is over) but that’s on par for action games.

The game also seems to take major cues from the Matrix, with the last surviving human city called Xion (not Zion as in the Matrix). Adam’s ship also looks like something from the Matrix movies too, similar to Morpheus’ ship, the Nebuchadnezzar (but smaller).

Maybe it’s just me but throughout the whole game, I also keep getting deja vu of Devil May Cry, Nier and Bayonetta. Stellar Blade is heavily influenced by those games and it really shows. EVE even double jumps like Bayonetta!

Stellar Blade however, is much more focused on a melee combat experience. EVE gets ranged weapons in the game, but limited ammo means you don’t really use them unless you’re in a pinch. The guns are cool though and the times where they’re required (in two dungeons), they really show off how fun they could be.

When fighting melee, I was a bit disappointed to see that pretty much all of EVE’s attacks are ground-based. There’s no launcher or any aerial attack moves (save for her air dive), which means fighting is all on terra firma. It gets a bit too formulaic at times (especially since enemy variety is lacking) though the fast paced nature of the game helps alleviate that.

EVE also has a ton of combos at her disposal and multiple special moves! Hell, she can even morph into a more powerful version after you beat a certain boss. It all makes combat fun, because you can always mix and match skills. There’s always an option to engage the way you want to; whether it’s through stealth, melee or long range bombardment.

The game has 5 different skill trees and progressing through them is pretty fun. Almost every node on the trees are useful and I found myself utilizing a ton of the unlocks in the game.

It also helps that the combat is visceral and gory too. EVE slices off limbs and bisects bodies with aplomb. It’s no unusual for a combat encounter’s aftermath to have Naytiba parts scattered everywhere. I just wish there were more Naytiba types to fight!

Speaking of which, the Naytibas all look super cool and I really really dig their design! They obviously take their inspiration from Dead Space and other body horror media. That’s not a problem for me as I love the genre.

Some of the stages give off ‘The Thing’, ‘Dead Space’and ‘Alien’ vibes and I just love it! In fact, the game even dabbles full-on with the horror elements in two dungeons, forcing you to only EVE’s guns to progress. No wall and ground penetrating radar scans or the Blood Edge. Just EVE, her guns and a boatload of jumpscares.

It probably goes without saying that those two dungeons are my favourite.

It’s not all hunky dory though.

Sadly, the game sorely lacks variety and enemies you meet in the early areas pop up in the later ones too. In fact, the game unashamedly recycles bosses multiple times throughout the game, including for some optional fights.

It’s very disappointing.

Backstabs (which you can do on unaware enemies) are the same no matter which Naytiba you do it on. I was honestly surprised that a AAA game like this took such a lazy approach. No matter what you kill from stealth, it’s all the same stealth kill animation.

Even critical moves (which you can only execute when an enemy’s yellow balance meter is depleted), are shared between different enemy types. Thankfully, there’s more than one though but still…shared animations? That’s another inexcusable shortcut taken for no reason I can see.

As an action RPG, EVE gets upgrades throughout the game to make her stronger.

Unfortunately, you don’t really feel it.

Despite upgrading my blade numerous times, I still feel underpowered when returning to earlier areas. Enemies in Eidos 7 (the first game area), still die after the same number of hits as when I first started, even when I had upgraded the Blood Edge (EVE’s sword) multiple times.

It’s honestly a weird issue and I hope that the developers really patch it out. The damage scaling is really off at the moment.

There’s also another weird (or probably lazy) issue I have; the music loops.

Each of the areas of the game has a specific track that loops forever. I don’t usually notice (or mind). I know most games do the same thing. Unfortunately, Stellar Blade chooses to use vocal songs as its background music

Yup, that means the loops are highly noticeable because the lyrics keep repeating! Even worse, it’s not even the full song that’s looping. Its only certain verses. You can probably guess how grating that gets right?

I do admit the songs are great (and I would actually listen to them outside of the game) but the looped versions in the game? Those are irritating as hell.

You want to also know what’s irritating?

The insanely small fonts.

Seriously.

I play on a 4K TV yet I can barely make out the ammo counter when I’m using the guns. What gives? Which part of LARGE do the UI designers not understand? Ironically, the crosshair when you’re aiming is so BIG that it makes it hard to pick out distant targets.

Come on Shift Up!

I know this is the first time you guys are doing a AAA title, but these are issues that should’ve been fixed in QA! Still, Shift Up can at least boast they share a visual issue with another big action RPG.

Yup, you guessed it.

Stellar Blade has the dubious honor of also being a game with insanely low texture resolutions.

Just like Final Fantasy VII Rebirth!

Ok, to be fair, I run the game in Performance mode (which means lowered visuals for a supposed 60FPS framerate) but some of these textures look straight out of a PS1 game! In fact, Performance doesn’t even run at a locked 60FPS! I can see the framerate drops in wide open areas like the courtyard in Xion!

Thankfully, the combat is largely unaffected.

Small miracles, right?

The Bottom Line.

For a brand new I.P., Stellar Blade is great. It nails most things (fluid and fun combat, interesting areas to explore, decent plot and great art direction) but is hampered by issues that should’ve been no brainers.

Enemy variety is sorely lacking. The music loops are annoying. The voice acting and cinematics are disappointing. It seems like for one thing the game does well, it makes a boneheaded decision to balance the scales.

Despite that, the good points do outweigh the bad. That means that Stellar Blade is a game you should play if you have a Playstation 5. Is it a must play though? Nah, not really.

Perhaps if Shift Up makes a Stellar Blade 2 and fixes all the issues in this one, maybe then it’ll be a killer app for the Playstation. Till then, Stellar Blade is a prime example of a good game that could’ve been great.

TLDR:

Decent game with a lot of good things going for it but held back by a lot of issues too.